Monthly Archives: October 2012

I immediately want to put the whole thing on my hot dog.

The title of this post appears in this story about alternate NBA unis. Coolio. It’s apt, and the subtitle on the story is sad as only Cleveland sports things are sad. Also, the man who wrote it apparently has a Pulitzer Prize.

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Sonofabitch Did It Again!

There should be no more undecideds in northern Ohio. Just sayin’.

Paul Ryan Mistakes Colt McCoy for Brandon Weeden. 

Condi shoulda cold-cocked him.

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The Dawn of a New Era. For Reals. We Closing the Loop.

Huzzah! The 2012 Brownies duck the ignominy of a franchise-record losing streak, a possible winless season, and maybe drafting quarterbacks in the first round two years in a row. Basking in the glow of competence, y’all!

It’s interesting, people seemed to feel very confident overall the Browns were going to win this game, despite the Bengals generally being the better team. On Cleveland.com, something like 57% of people thought they were going to win. Several other sources picked them as well. Hm. Wishful thinking? Perhaps it was a sign–the team had managed to be competitive, sometimes with strong defense and other times with an offense that appeared to working. Maybe new narrative in play–one of the youngest teams in the league comes together, just at the moment that the aging juggernauts of the division begin their inexorable declines. And this win was the first moment of the decade in which the AFC North and several Super Bowls finally belong to Cleveland? I saw the movie Looper over the weekend (it’s quite good, though hard for the father of a young son to watch at times), and by the rubric of the movie, this vision of the future is one possible vision, made fuzzy by constantly shifting probabilities. Writing this very very narrowly-read blog post has shifted the future just a little (actually, prolly not). Maybe Weeden stumbles across it while Googling his name. Maybe he’s inspired to not stare down his receivers so much. Things are becoming clearer now: 3-13?

“Oh my goodness, it was like a big weight off everybody’s shoulders,” said Joe Haden, who returned from his four-game suspension for taking meth (okay, it was Adderall–still meth, more or less). “It felt like we won the Super Bowl, honestly. Everybody’s excited.”

Oof. That quote brought a little smile to my face until I realized how sad that must sound to teams and fans that have actually won titles or gone to the playoffs regularly in the last decade or so. I like Haden a lot, but it’s like a little kid putting on a suit that’s way too big for him and marching around the room handing out business cards. It’s just a little too adorable. Charles Woodson wants to pat him on the head.

I like this one a little better: “It says they never give up,” said Cribbs (of the Cleveland fans). “We were 0-5 and they’re still packing the house. That’s why this is Believeland and we’re right there with them.”


Sad Trombone

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Braves come up small in first ever MLB wild card game. The important stats: three errors, four unearned run surrendered, and 12 men left on base.

The worst part: Chipper Jones, in what turned out to be his last game as big leaguer, made the first and most costly error, which led to three Cardinal runs. (Click the photo to see it.)

Not a recipe for a win.


Bring On Houston!

Mariners fans had precious little to cheer these past few years, save for King Felix’s perfect game and these snazzy throwback unis:

The team finished last in the AL West for the third straight year in 2012 and seventh time since 2004. But there’s good news on the horizon…the NL Central doormat Houston Astros are joining the division next year. With a meager .340 winning percentage, they were the worst team in all of baseball this year, for the second time in as many years.

One more candidate for the AL West cellar sounds like good news to me.


Mariners Face New Disgrace

With the Nationals backing into the NL East division title tonight, following a Braves loss, they are on a much clearer path to the World Series. Along with the Reds, they own the best record in baseball and spent much of the season atop the standings. Should Washington find a way to win at least seven postseason games, they’ll leave the Seattle Mariners as the last remaining Major League Baseball team never to have been to the World Series.

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Yet, back in 2001, when the Mariners appeared to be on the fast track to the big show, they had plenty of company among the World Series deficient: Houston, Colorado, Arizona, Anaheim, Washington, Tampa Bay and division-rival Texas. But as the Mariners sputtered in the playoffs against the Yankees, the Diamondbacks were on their way towards a Series win. Anaheim treated their fans to their first World Series (and World Series win) the next season, after a long 42-year wait. The Astros, 43 years overdue, found their way to the World Series in 2005. Colorado and Tampa Bay followed in 2007 and 2008, respectively, in their 15th and 11th seasons. Fans of the Rangers suffered longer, dating to their days as the second incarnation of the Washington Senators: 49-years. But Texas has been to the last two World Series.

Washington, combined with its time as the Montreal Expos, has been waiting a long time for such an opportunity, much longer than the Mariners who joined the league in a 1977 expansion. The 1981 Expos represent their only postseason entrant and the franchise has been around since 1969.  Meanwhile, Mariners’ expansion classmate Toronto is a two-time World Series winner.

And while it’s been longer than most Cubs fans have been alive (1945) since Wrigley Field saw a World Series, the favorite Chicago franchise has at least been.

Whether the Nationals deliver Seattle one more black eye, remains to be seen. But the 2012 Mariners are definitely coming up small.