Category Archives: General Sports

…But For Those 25 Seconds

Against Atlanta, the Seahawks came up small in many ways today. Like the entire first half. And the Marshawn Lynch fumble. And that 4th and 1 play selection. And their disorganization after that sack.

And, in the end, they came up small with just 25 seconds to spare.



Just a few short months until pitchers and catchers report.


The Redskins Really DO Love Losing to Seattle

griffinGimpy sauce!

The Little League that Could, but Probably Won’t

It took 113 days of bitterness, mistrust, recrimination and name calling, but as in many a bad marriage, the NHL and its players kissed and made up yesterday, reaching a tentative agreement that appears to have ended the lockout and rescued the 2012/13 NHL season.

Had this weekend’s marathon negotiation failed to resolve the sides’ differences, hockey fans faced the likelihood of losing an entire season to CBA brinksmanship for the second time in eight years. Amazingly, rabidly loyal fans had continued to stream through the gates even after the catastrophe of 04/05. League revenues last year reached a record $3.3 billion. Still, the league clearly had a long way to go even before this year’s lockout. The recently inked 10 year TV deal with NBC pays a paltry $200 million per year. Compare this with the NBA’s current deal, set to expire in 2016, which is worth $930 million annually. But NHL owners don’t seem to mind because they rely on gate receipts (i.e., fan loyalty) for nearly half their yearly take.

How is it, you ask, that a league so dependent on its fans caring enough to show up, and with so much market share yet to gain, could come so near the brink of fan-alienating disaster? The short answer, friends, is that Garry Bettman and his band of merry pranksters run an entire league that comes up small; that’s small as in petty, myopic, and head-scratchingly obtuse; small with a lower-case s. Yes, they’ve put it all behind them for the next decade, but this is still the league that allowed Fox to superimpose comet trails on live action.foxtrax8xo

So let’s not waste anyone’s time dissecting the new agreement or rehashing the agonizing negotiations that produced it. And we certainly won’t pat anyone in the league office on the back. Instead, what better way to celebrate the imminent start of the NHL season than by taking a quick look at some even less successful pro leagues. Congratulations, Gary Bettman, you’ve come up bigger, than these guys:

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Smallness Imminent: Seahawks vs. Redskins

The Redskins and Seahawks face off this weekend in a clash of ComingUpSmall mainstays.  One will come up small.

There are any number of ways to attempt to glean the outcome, including Las Vegas lines, past meetings (see: The Skins Love Losing to the Seahawks, below), road and home records, etc.  We present to you, reader, an alternative means of judging Sunday’s contest.


The Skins Love Losing to the Seahawks

Worlds collide this weekend when the Washington Redskins host the Seattle Seahawks in the first round of the playoffs.  One of those teams will come up small.  And the good money is on the Redskins again disappointing ComingUpSmall colleague Washdz. Combine the Seahawks’ recent scoring proficiency — 170 points in four games — with their maturing defense, and factor in Robert Griffin’s sore knee and one can expect some sad faces in Raljon, MD.

But there’s one other factor: the Redskins love losing to the Seahawks in the playoffs:


Jan. 5, 2008: Seahawks 35, Redskins 14


Jan. 14, 2006: Seahawks 20, Redskins 10

2013 Season Is A Lock: 3rd Time’s the Charm Edition

ibanezIs Raul Ibanez the answer? General Manager Jack Zduriencik thinks so.  Ibanez will get his third go with the Mariners in 2013 and ComingUpSmall is pretty sure it’s not a home run.  The man will turn 41 as a Mariner next year and at .240 last year he was not a sure thing in the batting order. But he’s got some power and could launch a few over Safeco’s new more hitter-friendly confines.

Zduriencik has been doing some interesting things this offseason, including trading away one of the Mariners’ most consistent pitchers of 2012 — Jason Vargas — for some oomph in the lineup by way of Kendrys Morales.  Of course, Morales is a first baseman just like perpetual future-superstar Justin Smoak.  That could set up some intrigue in spring training this year.

With these moves in place, C.U.S. predicts the Mariners will not finish last in the AL West. Thank you, Houston Astros.

Seahawks v. Cardinals

Not small.